6 weeks pregnant

The morning sickness has really hit hard this week! I was already feeling a bit naseous last week, but this week I’ve started throwing up – which really hasn’t been enjoyable. Although every time I’m sick, it reminds me that I’m growing a baby and being sick is a clear reminder that the baby is still in there and growing nicely – so I’m not going to complain about it too much.

The other thing I’ve noticed this week is just how tired I’m getting. I haven’t been able to make it through a whole day without a nap yet. Sometimes I find that I’m really tired only an hour or so after I wake up! One saving grace is that I don’t drink tea or coffee, so there’s been no caffine withdrawal for me which I know can really add to how tired some women feel during pregnancy – I can’t imagine how hard it must be for those women.

The final thing to update on this week is how anxious this pregnancy has been making me. I’m really not an anxious person normally, but I feel like I’ve done nothing but worry since I saw those two pink lines. I worry about eating the right things, about taking the right supplements, I worry that every ache is something terrible and every new sensation is a harbinger of bad news. I’m counting down the days until my first scan, I think that I’ve convinced myself that once I hear the heartbeat, everything will be okay. The good news is that there’s only 6 days to go until the scan. Wish us luck!

5 weeks pregnant

Well I don’t really know where to start, there’s so much to catch up on! But the most important thing first – I’m pregnant! Third time really was a charm for us.

So the two week wait started out really well this time and the first week just flew by. Christmas was such a great distraction that I really didn’t have much time to wonder whether I was pregnant or not. I did have some lower back pain on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day which I briefly wondered about, thinking it could have been implantation cramps but I didn’t have enough time to dwell on that thought for too long.

Of course, after Christmas there was a lull and that’s when I started wanting to test! I managed to hold myself back for a while, but then I started noticing symptoms. After Christmas, we went to visit Hayley’s mum who is a smoker and I spent the entire time there covering my nose and trying not to be sick from the latent smell of smoke just lingering in the house. It was certainly an extreme reaction, but it did make me wonder whether I was pregnant. Then on day 11 post IUI, I woke up at 5:30am feeling incredibly nauseous and I couldn’t take it anymore, I really wanted to test.

So as soon as Hayley woke up, we had a quick chat and decided that we’d cheekily test early. We were using a standard test the fertility clinic had given us, so it wasn’t designed for early detection, but even so, we were sure that we could see the faintest of faint lines.

Well that day we went to the local shop and picked up 4 more pregnancy tests just to be sure! We made sure to pick up some early detection tests and decided that we’d test each morning from then on to see whether the line was getting darker.

On the morning of Day 12 post IUI we got up early and tested again, this time there was no mistaking the line! No need to squint! It was right there and clearly positive. Pregnant. We tested on day 13 and 14 just to be sure of course, but we loved watching the line grow darker and clearer.

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That was over a week ago now. I’m currently 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I’ve got an early scan booked in on the 23rd of this month (7 weeks and 4 days). The clinic we’re using are great about making sure everything is growing properly and scanning as soon as possible before handing us over to our GP. I’ve heard that some people can hear the heartbeat at 6 or 7 weeks as well, so that’s what we’re keeping our fingers crossed for.

Obviously it’s still really early on and there is always a danger of miscarriage in early pregnancy, so we’re holding on until we hear a strong and healthy heartbeat before we tell people we’re pregnant. But right now, we’re secretly very excited.

2 days post IUI

Saturday morning Hayley and I headed to the clinic, dressed in our finest Christmas jumpers and bringing a box of chocolates to say Merry Christmas to the lovely doctors and nurses working at the fertility clinic. They do such a great job of putting us at ease and explaining every part of the process and we just wanted to say thank you, especially around Christmas.

Normally I find the IUI process a bit painful, I know that’s not the same for every woman, but nonetheless, it’s something I find I have to grit my teeth and endure. This time was much better though, there was a different doctor performing the insemination this time and she was brilliant, she explained the process as she went along and took the time to make it all as comfortable as possible. The doctor also kept me lying down for ten minutes after the procedure which I’ve read leads to better results.

So all in all, the IUI went well. The procedure was stress free and my womb and follicle looked brilliant. I’m certainly feeling better about my chances this month.

The rest of my weekend was fantastic, it was the perfect distraction for me. We headed straight over to a friends house for a small gathering of people celebrating an early Christmas. We ate wonderful food, played lots of board games and watched Christmas films. I didn’t spend any time worrying about whether the IUI process was going to work this month or not, it was really relieving. I’m hoping that the two week wait will go by really quickly now that Christmas is almost upon us.

2 days to go

Well this month has felt much better than last month! I just went for another scan and my lining was the thickest it’s ever been and my follicle was a really nice size. The nurse thought my lining looked great, the pattern was exactly what you’d expect to see and everything looks ready to trigger ovulation.

So I’ll be triggering at 14:30 this afternoon, ready for treatment on Saturday at 10:30. That works out really nicely for us as we have a busy but relaxing weekend which will definitely help take our minds off the treatment.

This weekend we’re visiting a friends house for an early Christmas celebration. We’ll be there all weekend (the dog gets to come along too) and we’re planning to play lots of board games and eat lots of wonderful food. I think this will be a great distraction for us and a lovely way to relax after the IUI.

We also had a lovely conversation with the nurse who explained that our odds of concieving statistically improve each attempt. So all in all we’re feeling much more positive about this cycle.

Fingers crossed for the third attempt!

3rd time’s a charm?

Well as predicted, last months treatment didn’t work. I wasn’t surprised and honestly it wasn’t that upsetting. Nothing really felt right about last month, it took a while to get to the stage where my lining was thick enough and my follicles were barely at the minimum requirement when I triggered. So when the pregnancy test was negative, neither Hayley nor I were surprised. We knew that it just wasn’t our month.

But we’re back trying again this month. There are many positives of trying for a baby in December;

  1. If it works this month, our baby would be born in September and would be amongst the oldest in their school year rather than the youngest.
  2. I love Christmas! I love winter, I love the festivities and I love buying gifts for my family and friends. The two week wait should be easy this month as there will plenty of things to distract myself with.
  3. I don’t need another excuse to take it easy and cosy up infront of the fire with a good book or board game, but I’ll certainly take it. IUI means I’ve got a great excuse to enjoy some of my favourite wintery relaxing activities.

So I’m choosing to focus on the positives of trying for a baby in December and I’m staunchly ignoring the fact that I can’t indulge with some of my favourite cheeses during the two week wait!

I’m now on cycle day 11, if previous months are anything to go by, I’ll probably go in for insemination around the 11th (which would make test day, Christmas day).

Testing at 10 days post IUI

I know I shouldn’t do it and I know I said that I wasn’t going to do it, but I did it. I tested at 10PO even though I don’t have good feeling about this cycle and even though I know that’s too early to be testing anyway.

I think I need to stop reading other blogs and forums, they fill your head with stories of women getting a positive result early on and it makes you believe that you’ll be one of those women too. Well I’m not, it was negative (BFN) and I wasn’t surprised. Unfortunately, all it did was make Hayley and I miserable that to see that it hasn’t worked yet. So next month I’m waiting the full 14 days before I test! Or at least I’ll try very hard!

The trouble is, is that nothing about the test is certain, there’s no way of knowing if it’s actually a negative or if my hormones haven’t built up enough yet to show a positive. So really, I’m no further along than before in knowing anything and I still have to wait until day 14.

My only concern about trying next month is that it will be December, what happens if I ovulate on Christmas day? The clinic won’t be open and that’s just another month wasted then. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Until then, I’ll keep taking my progesterone just in case and I’ll test again on day 14 to get a firm result.

Back in the two week wait

So I went back to the clinic on CD19 and by some miracle, my lining and follicle had grown really nicely and the clinic recommended triggering that day ready for insemination 2 days later. I was pretty up front about my concerns with there not being enough time afterwards to allow for implantation and they agreed that I could use progesterone to delay my period and help encourage implantation.

Wednesday night (CD19) at 8pm I had to inject myself with the HCG trigger shot – this was pretty stressful last time because I had to do it on my own and I was so concerned about getting it wrong. This time, I had Hayley there to help. Hayley has just finished a PhD where she’s been working in a lab prepping lots of syringes, so she was able to sort it all really quickly for me. Although her absolute hatred of injections meant she had to leave the room when I gave myself the shot!

CD21 came around and we were back at the clinic for a prompt 12pm round of IUI. I love the clinic we’ve chosen to go to, they always make us feel so comfortable and welcomed when we’re there. This time was no different, Hayley and I were laughing the entire time – we were giggling at the early Christmas music on the radio and laughing about plans for the weekend. The whole atmosphere made us feel so relaxed in what could be a fairly stressful situation.

Then came the insemination process. I hated this part last time because it hurt so much the first and quite honestly it hurt this time too, but it did hurt less than before – so I’m going to count that as a positive. The clinic even gave us a picture this time of the tube releasing the sperm in my womb, it’s lovely to think that if it does work this month, we’ve got a picture to capture the moment.

So now I’m 3 days post IUI and feeling much calmer than last month. Also, the progesterone tablets mean that I can’t spot symptoms as the tablets themselves mimic signs of pregnancy. This has actually been a nice relief – it means that there’s nothing I can do or look out for that will tell me one way or the other. The only thing to do now is wait until the 24th November 2017 to test. 11 days to go – wish me luck!

Cycle two

It’s been a bit of an odd cycle this month, everything has felt slightly later than usual and I don’t have a good feeling about the treatment. After starting my period earlier than usual last month, everything seems to have stretched itself out this month.

I went for an IUI scan on cycle day 12 and there appeared to be no signs of ovulation at all. My lining was still only at 2.5 mm (ideally I want above 7mm) and there were no growing follicles. Whilst I wasn’t much further along at day 12 last month, I was at least in a better place than this! I went back on day 14 and it seemed a little better, my lining had grown to 3.5mm and a follicle from my left ovary had started to grow and was at 11mm (ideally I need about 18mm). But this meant that I still wasn’t ready to trigger ovulation. So I went back on day 17 for another scan.

My day 17 scan was better, my lining was 5.5mm and the follicle was measuring at 14mm. So there has been some slow growth and it’s looking better. I’m still not at a point where I can do a trigger shot though.

So I’m going back in for another scan tomorrow – day 19. I’m hoping that the scan will show that I’m ready to trigger, I’m religiously taking ovulation tests just in case I miss the surge, but I think day 19 will be the earliest I’m ready.

The trouble is, that according to my period tracker, I’ve got 12 days until my period arrives. So if I trigger tomorrow and undergo IUI 2 days after that, I’ll only have 9 days until my period should arrive. I just feel like that won’t be enough time for implantation and I’m just wasting my money on this try.

I did raise my concerns with the clinic, but they think I’m having a longer cycle and that my period won’t arrive when my tracker estimates it will. I hope they’re right, but like I said at the start, I don’t have a good feeling about this round of IUI.

A faint positive and then a period

So I managed to wait until 9 days PO and I decided that I was going to test. I knew the chances of getting an accurate reading would be low, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else and I thought that by testing, no matter what the result, it would put my mind at ease.

Well, I tested and the results were inconclusive. A faint line appeared on my test, meaning that it was possibly positive. I surprised myself with how I handled it, I didn’t let my hopes for a positive result run away with me and instead I reasoned that it may have been an evaporation line. So I decided that I’d wait a few days and test again so that I’d get a clearer result. It certainly gave me a lot of hope seeing that faint line, even if it was an evap line, it seemed to me that we were going to be one of those lucky few for whom IUI worked first time.

That’s where it all went wrong. For the first time in over a year (June 2016 to be exact), my period arrived early. At 10 days PO I noticed a spot of blood – Because it was so light to start with, I almost convinced myself that it might have been implantation bleeding. Well it wasn’t, my period arrived in full force the next day and that meant it hadn’t worked.

I don’t know if that faint line was a chemical pregnancy (meaning a fertilised egg which didn’t implant) or if it was just a faulty test and I’m not sure if I want to know. I was certainly frustrated that my period started early. Hayley and I were both a bit upset that it didn’t work and we allowed ourselves that time to feel disappointed before we picked ourselves up to start trying again.

So what now?

Now we’re back to step 1 again with IUI treatment. I go in for a scan on the 31st to check that I’m ovulating and that my womb lining looks good, then we’ll know when to give me a trigger shot and start the waiting all over again. In a way, I think this time will be much more relaxing as I’ll know what to expect and I’ll know not to read too much into ‘symptoms’ during the TWW.

The two week wait

You never know how long two weeks actually is until you spend it impatiently waiting for an answer. I’m only halfway through, just one week, yet it feels like a month must have gone by in this time. I’ve spent the last week convincing myself that it must have worked and spotting symptoms everywhere. I know this is ridiculous and I know that any potential signs of pregnancy could just as easily be PMS, but I can’t seem to stop myself.

Day one post IUI, I experienced some mild cramping around my lower abdomen, this continued into day two as well. Logically, I know that this is just an after-effect of the treatment, but I couldn’t help attribute it to early signs that the egg had been fertilised.

I’ve had terrible back ache for the past few days, my boobs seem to feeling sore and aching and this morning I fell asleep for half an hour on the train during my commute. These are classic early signs of pregnancy… They’re also fairly common occurrences for me (minus the sleep thing) without any IUI treatment. So really, I’m none the wiser.

I suppose deep down I’m expecting to see a positive result and I know that I’ll be disappointed if it isn’t, that’s why I’m constantly trying to think it all through logically. Oh well, 7 days left.